Hey kiddo. This is sort of a part 2 of the video I madea couple of months ago called “essential healthy girl habits”. It’s basically just me giving you big sisteradvice. So like if I was your big sis or your auntor your bestest friend, here are some things I’d tell you. By the way, most of this, perhaps all of thisactually, is applicable to dudes too. Know your body. I’ve definitely talked about this on Instagram,but I'm unsure if I’ve mentioned it here.
If you’re a woman, for starters, the minimumof what you should do is to track your menstrual cycle; not just to know when you get yourperiods and when you’re ovulating and your fertility, but it’ll help you understandso much more, like your mood, your cravings. You’ll be better able to plan and predictyour days and your weeks. Your hormones fluctuate quite a bit throughyour cycle, and so for example, in one part of your cycle you’ll feel stronger and performbetter at physical activities like going to the gym; in other parts you might feel moresensitive and so on. I read the book “period power” that Ithink had a lot of interesting information, but there’s so much you can read onlineas well.
A good starting point would be to learn aboutthe 4 seasons of your menstrual cycle. Also, on knowing your body, you should learnabout your vaginal discharge; the different smells and consistencies. That way you’ll easily be able to spot whensomething isn’t quite right like if there’s an infection or so going on, and getting toknow the different textures can also help you predict when you're ovulating. Do your pelvic floor exercises. As we’re on this topic, don’t forget todo your pelvic floor exercises to strengthen the muscles around your bladder, bottom, andvagina.
Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles canhelp urinary incontinence and treat pelvic organ prolapse. I’ll link a source or two on how to do them. But basically, you just squeeze your pelvicfloor muscles, which should feel kind of like when you’re holding your pee, and then youhold for a few seconds, and release. If you’re here, you’re probably someonewho’s interested in self-growth, in getting to know yourself and understanding yourself. I’ve chosen BetterHelp to be the sponsorof this video today, because I know how important therapy has been for my own personal developmentjourney.
Especially the very last point in this video,which I’ll get to in a few minutes… therapy really helped me with that one. BetterHelp’s mission is to make therapyaccessible, and this is an important mission because finding a therapist can be hard. BetterHelp is a platform that makes findinga therapist easy because it’s online, it’s remote, and by filling out a few questions,BetterHelp can match you to a credentialed therapist in as little as a few days. It's easy to sign up and get matched witha therapist. There's a link in my description.
It's betterhelp.com/lana Clicking that linkhelps support this channel, but it also gets you 10% off your first month of BetterHelpso you can connect with a therapist and see if it helps you. And because finding a therapist is a littlelike dating, if you don't really fit with that therapist, which is a common thing withtherapy, you can easily switch to a different therapist. So if you’re struggling, consider onlinetherapy with BetterHelp. Click the link in the description or visitBetterhelp.com/lana. Thank you again BetterHelp for supportingthis channel.
Privacy. I want to preface this by saying that I knowthis is going to look different depending on your age, your culture, the norms in yourfriend groups and what not, and so some of you might not agree. Personally, I believe in privacy and in notoversharing the very personal details of our lives. I think there’s something very beautifulabout keeping parts of relationships to ourselves. So, as an example, intimacy between two peopleI think should be kept in that relationship, I don’t think sharing details with friendsis necessary, and unless agreed upon by both.
Parties, is just blatantly disrespectful. Like, I personally don’t feel comfortablewhen someone goes into details about their sex life with their partner. I feel like I’m invading their privacy. I do understand when you’re super young,and that first kiss and holding hands stuff is super exciting and novel and you’re overwhelmedand you’re learning so much. But being an adult and having adult relationships,I don’t think it’s appropriate to share intimate details with others. I see it as a matter of respect for you, yourpartner and your relationship.
Now of course, I’m not encouraging anyoneto not share for the purpose of seeking comfort or reassurance in cases where perhaps youwere uncomfortable or unsure about something. I actually would encourage anyone who feelsthat to share it with someone they trust. On that note, I think the same thing goesfor things like disputes or arguments with your partner. I don’t think there’s any need to tellyour friends and family about every little detail. Partly because it’s private and nobodysbusiness, and partly because no outside person knows the full context, they might grow resentfulof your partner and I just think it’s not.
Respectful to throw your partner under thebus like that. Again, exceptions always apply, of course,if you’re in an unsafe situation or you simply need someone to talk to about an issueor you need advice; always get the help you need. But I guess the point here is to not telleveryone your business. Intentionality. Now let’s throw some lighthearted stuffin here, although it definitely requires some skill, skill that I definitely don’t have,but that I appreciate so much in others: ladies who intentionally coordinate things like theiroutfits and their jewelry.
When the colors, patterns and fabrics areall coordinated. It’s something I want to become better at. Take your commitments and words seriously I think this is a good time for me to saythat I’m in no way perfect or even near perfect at any of these things, but I try. I have so much admiration for people who staytruly committed to what they say, even when it’s the small things. When their actions match their words. Not just to others, but to themselves, too.
And this one is all in the details. So for example, when you tell someone “I’llcall you tomorrow”; call them tomorrow. And if you can’t, inform them about it andmake up for it. AAND.. When you tell yourself “I’ll get xyz doneat 3pm today”; take that seriously! Don’t just be “disciplined” for theworld and for your boss. How about for yourself? You know, we can all put on a show for theworld to see, but integrity is what you do when nobody’s watching, when no one is judging,when you can’t get caught.
And I honestly think a good way to get toknow your own moral codes is to observe your own actions when you’re alone. Are you cutting corners? What’s the worst thing you do? Pick your nose? Not bad. Cheating on your partner? People who keep their word are hot. It’s all about being reliable.
Make your own, well-informed, educated decisionswhen it comes to birth control. Look, for some people, birth control has workedamazingly, but I do believe that, at least when I was a teenager, there was very littleinformation provided other than “take this pill, it will help you out”. I believe that, at that age, I was not giventhe opportunity to make a well-informed decision. What I remember is being recommended birthcontrol at a very young age. Actually, not recommended, it was heavilypushed on me, and my girlfriends. I advocate for women making their own, well-informedchoices, whether we’re talking birth-control or something else that has to do with yourown health.
Don’t blindly agree to whatever is beingthrown your way. We live in this amazing time when we can doso much research on our own. Talk to your friends, talk to people yourtrust, and most importantly, trust yourself and trust what your body and mind is tellingyou. Always advocate for yourself, don’t be shyto ask a ton of questions when you see your gyno or doctor. Ask for clarification, or ask to see someoneelse. Take your health seriously. This brings me to my next point: Ask questions.
Ask for a raise. Ask for more responsibility at work. Ask for those three days that you want tohave off. Ask the guy you’re dating if he’s lookingfor marriage. Ask him if he’s looking for a committedrelationship and tell him you are not interested in anything else. I’m baffled anytime I hear or read storiesabout women who are afraid to “scare someone off” or afraid they’ll come across asbeing “too much”. Oh no, you scared someone off?.
The person who wasn’t at a place in theirlife where they can answer important questions and openly communicate their wishes with youwas scared off? Does that sound like a loss or a win to you? Look after yourself; stand up for yourself. Because if you don’t… then who will?