A study published in the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry found that kids who go through constant verbal abuse are three times more likely to have mental health issues like anxiety or depression when they grow up so in this video we will explore seven toxic things parents and caregivers should never say to kids if I.
Asked you to recall a memory from when you were 2 or 3 years old could you do it most of us can't recall any memories of that age so isn't it surprising how our parents and caregivers treated us at that age stays with us for the rest of our lives neglecting a child's need for attention children are needy for attention if you're a parent then you.
Know that at least thousand times a day children will say mommy look at me or daddy look what I can do this is their way of seeking your attention and validation it's also their way of connecting with you when parents neglect to give children the attention they seek they can start to feel abandoned if this happens often enough children will think.
My mom and dad don't care about me when an adult says to a child not right now honey I'm in the middle of something or I don't have time for this right now it can make them feel rejected unimportant and unvalued repeated neglect of a child's needs by their parents can lead to Children developing an unhealthy attachment style that they will carry.
With them for the rest of their Liv one thing I learned pretty early on in my career as a counselor was the power of our upbringing in deciding how our lives turn out so give children as much attention and love as possible because that's what helps them Thrive and face the world without fear dismissing a child's emotions when adults say you're.
Too sensitive stop overreacting to a child they're telling the child that their feelings are wrong or too much it's like saying your feelings don't don't matter the child may feel their feelings aren't important they might think expressing themselves is wrong for example if a child is upset about being bullied at school and a parent says.
You're too sensitive just ignore it it might make the child feel like no one cares about what is happening to them or how they feel this kind of response can make the child feel like their emotions are invalid it can also impact their mental well-being in the long run as they grow up they might not be willing to share how they feel because of what.
They heard growing up parents should always listen to a child's feelings even if they seem small children learn by imitating adults in their lives if they see their parents being understanding and empathetic they'll also do the same a child's safe place should always be their home and their parents encourage children to share how they feel and.
Validate their feelings labeling a child with negative traits a parent or a caregiver may say you're always is so needy this attaches a negative label to the child's identity the statement does more than address one Behavior it generalizes a negative trait to the child as a whole kids who grow up hearing negative labels develop a fixed.
Mindset they start to believe that the traits they hear are fixed and cannot be changed when a child is told they're always a certain way it implies a sense of permanence this makes it harder for them to believe they can improve or change that's not all constantly hearing negative labels can impact a child's self-esteem imagine if you heard things.
Like you're always so lazy or you're always so stupid how would you feel it would chip away at yourself worth over time this can create a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy and unworthiness a small child's mind is a blank slate this is why what adults in their life say and do impacts them so much Early Childhood is when when children begin to form.
Their identities the more they hear negative labels during this time the more they become a part of their self-concept influencing how they perceive themselves and in turn how they interact with the world labeling can also become a self-fulfilling prophecy when a child is consistently told they are constantly something they will.
Internalize those labels as a result they'll start to behave in ways that align with those negative expectations comparison with others this is a common thing that most children hear their parents say why can't you be more like your brother or why can't you be more like Jimmy he listens to his parents and he's so smart parents often think that.
This is a great way to motivate children to do better but really it has the opposite effect instead of feeling inspired to do better children develop a sense of hopelessness thinking they can never do as well as the children they're being compared with when children are compared to others they may resent their parents they might feel unfairly judged.
This can create tension and competition between the child and their siblings children who grow up hearing this can feel like they're not enough constantly measuring themselves against others this can lead to low self-confidence and low self-esteem as adults expressing regret I wish you were never born imagine hearing those words as an adult it hurts.
Right now imagine how a small child would feel hearing those words it's a very hurt ful thing to hear it can make the child feel like they're not wanted or loved it makes them feel like they are a mistake or that something is wrong with them hearing these words can stick with a person for a long time and make them question their worth it's important.
For adults to choose their words carefully and always show love and support to Children even when they're upset or disappointed using negative language think back to a time when you got your report card from school and ran home to tell your Mom and Dad how well you did in school maybe you've been struggling all year in math and you.
Finally pulled off a CA in math and you're so proud of yourself and you're proud of all the effort you put in to passing the class when you show your dad the report card he says you got a C in math you shouldn't be smiling you should be crying you're such a disappointment when a small child hears the most important people in their lives say.
Negative things it tends to stick parents might think being tough on their children will motivate them to do better but really all it does is demotivate them and make them feel inadequate it's important for adults to always use kind words no matter the circumstance acknowledge the effort the child puts into something no matter how small it.
Matters undermining a child's potential how would you feel if all your life you heard from the people you trust and love the most that you're destined for failure and that you'll never accomplish anything in life would you believe you can be anything you want to be in this world or would you go on thinking you'll accomplish nothing worthwhile probably.
The latter children who grow up hearing toxic phrases like you'll never amount to anything will internalize these words leading to self-doubt and a lack of belief in their own abilities this will also take away any ambition the child has they'll hesitate to go after their dreams because they've been led to believe no matter how hard they try.
They'll fail it is the responsibility of the adult in a child's life to encourage support and give constructive feedback that helps them grow and make them Fearless in pursuing their dreams remember words wield the power to shape not just sentences but entire Destinies good words help you grow strong but bad words can make you feel small even great.
Parents are sometimes guilty of saying some of these toxic things that does not necessarily mean you are a bad parent it just means you're human we hope you found this video Eye openening and we helped you realize the importance of using kind words if you enjoyed our content we'd really appreciate your support to help us grow by hitting the.
Subscribe button and liking this video it helps us get our content out to more people as always don't forget to spread loving kindness to all beings around you and be the change you want to see in this world thank you so much for watching see you in the next video